Dating someone half your age
But generational differences are an easy scapegoat, especially when you’re not in the mood for introspection.I wanted some insight on age gaps, so I called my friend Chelsea Fairless, a 33-year-old designer and one half of beloved IG account @everyoutfitonsatc.Personally, the times I’ve dated guys six or so years younger than me, I worried at points that I was checking some “older woman” box for them. While it was an ego boner to be desired by someone with eerily smooth skin who wanted to fuck nine times a day, it also shined a light on my own stupid, petty insecurities.Like the time I stalked one Younger Guy’s Instagram, obsessing over whether the girls in his photos looked younger than me. But if you can get over your insecurities, I think there’s something to be gained from dating people of different ages—even if the relationships don’t last “forever.” When you’re the younger person in the couple, you get to soak up all your partner’s earned wisdom about life and sex, and it’s nice to feel cared for in that way.We were also both newly into BDSM, which realistically was a more significant point of connection than I’d had with most of my age-appropriate exes. In your mid-20s, dating your peers can be harrowing—you’re drowning in a sea of street falafel, mezzanine beds, and entry-level head.So when you meet someone who has clean towels in their bathroom and, like, a , it’s intoxicating.
I quickly learned that constantly feeling like a dependent child can be a real boner-killer. I wanted to take ketamine and lie on the floor in public. He also avoided hanging out with my friends—my theory was that he hated feeling like the old man at the party, while he argued that “going to Brooklyn is embarrassing.” And then there was the issue of energy levels: He would come once, and then pronounce his dick out of commission until tomorrow. Realistically, the proverbial conflict of horse tranquilizers versus fresh produce can happen in any relationship, regardless of age.I filed both of these under “things you can only appreciate while middle-aged.” But despite the age difference (and his idiosyncrasies) we had some things in common.For instance, we were both making our first attempts at writing books.The Older Man had cool friends who had made movies and weren’t on their parents’ family plan. But while the daddy vibe had longevity in bed, in life it got old pretty quickly.He gave me helpful advice on my career (“Don’t fuck your boss”) and about sex (“Stop screaming”). Whenever the Older Man and I went out, he chose the restaurant.
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If you’re a gay person in your 20s, Ellen was out for your whole life.